Has he suddenly gone off sex?

What could be wrong? Does he no longer find me attractive? Is he having sex with someone else? Does he no longer love me? Is there something wrong with his health? Is he impotent? Is it my personality? Do I make him feel emasculated? These are some of the questions that could go through your mind when it looks as if your partner has lost interest in sex. Suffering in silence Many women suffer with this problem in silence, whether they have been married for two years or twenty. It is often not the kind of thing they feel they can discuss easily with others, as they feel embarrassed and somehow responsible.
Talking about sex to your husband is often even more
difficult than talking about money. Somehow, this one
topic is studiously avoided by many married couples,
which is fine if things are going well. If however, sexual
relations come to a grinding halt, the lines of
communication are often not open. Talking about it is
about as difficult as undergoing root canal treatment
without anaesthetic. And in many cases people would opt
for the latter.
Why the sudden loss of interest?
What are the things that cause men to lose interest in sex
suddenly?
The reasons could be many. Many men in middle age
suffer from temporary impotence. The reasons could be
physical, psychological or both.
If the reasons for the impotence are physical, the onset of
the condition is gradual. Many habits or medical
conditions could contribute to this according to D. Jehu in
his book "Sexual dysfunction: a behavioural approach to
causation":
heart disease and disease of blood vessels
diabetes
multiple sclerosis
alcoholism
smoking
abdominal surgery
damage to the spinal cord or nerves
low levels of certain hormones
some prescription drugs
If the reasons for the impotence are psychological, the
onset of the condition is sudden and could be caused by a
wide variety of things:
job stress
relationship problems
financial concerns
depression or anxiety about poor sexual performance
psychiatric conditions
While performance enhancers sort out problems on the
short term, long-term solutions can only be found with the
intervention of professionals: either a doctor or urologist
in the case of physical problems or a psychologist or
sexologist in the case of emotional causes.

All said and done, most women will know that merely
talking about this problem is already difficult. Getting your
husband to go for help would be doubly so. The following
suggestions might help:
Don’t take on an accusatory tone – you need to get
your husband on your side
Choose your time carefully. The middle of a slinging
match is not the time to discuss this matter
Stress the fact that the problem affects both of you and
that the only solution is a joint one
Wait until the time is right – when you are both feeling
happy and relaxed
Don’t turn the whole discussion into a greater
emotional issue than it already is
Men put a high premium on their sexual performance.
Don’t denigrate your husband’s masculinity in any
way. It won’t get you anywhere
Use I-messages, such as “It makes me feel unloved
and unlovable when you won’t talk to me/have sex
with me/share a bedroom with me.”
Also accept the fact that most people’s sex lives are
unpredictable. Sometimes couples have sex often and
sometimes they don’t, for no particular reason. If,
however, a pattern of lesser or no sexual involvement
becomes the norm, it is time for you to intervene.

Posted by Donatus Joshua at 21:11